Pop Report Card

Nicely done, Train.

1. Take this song made popular (again)

2. by this kid and

3. then again by this show and then

4. throw in some slightly more Police/Sting-esque vocals.

The only reason it won’t be as popular as its cousin by Jason Mraz is that your chorus is a little weak. Although everyone LOVES singing the words “Stereo” and “Radio.” Enjoy a healthy time at or near the top of the charts.

A-.

Colorblind Love: A+
Foresight : C+

Look.  This is great. Really, anyone who slams you for buying (adopting? doesn’t matter we’re sure it wasn’t free) a black baby is just being petty. 

The only hiccup is when you have to re-define awkward the first time your five year old kid pops in a copy of “The Blind Side” and tries to figure out if that -other- black kid of yours is his brother, or if it’s a DVD from the future or God knows what.  He’ll probably just have to block it out, until he’s 16 and he joins a support group with Angelina’s babies and Madonna’s babies.  

“So… Mom? Um… you… got an academy award for adopting a black kid in a movie, and then like 3 months later you adopted me? Am I an Academy Award Baby? What if you had lost? Would I still be in Uganda or wherever? I don’t know how I feel about this.  I would go play football but now I honestly just can’t. That’s a life path that is no longer open to me.”

“It’s weird. I don’t have a record deal right now with anybody. I don’t know how I’m going to get my music out the next time I make a record.” Madonna in this Month’s Interview Magazine (5/2010)

CURRENT EVENTS = D+
RECOMMENDATION: INDEPENDENT STUDY

iTunes.  It costs $35 to “get your music out.”  

Our advice?  Make a big deal of it, “MADONNA INDEPENDENT”  Record 10 songs with whichever 10 indie artists Pitchfork is nuts about these days.  Is it Vampire Weekend? MGMT? I don’t know. Doesn’t matter, which ever one is endorsed to be “cool” at the moment (better hurry though, you know how these things go) 

We’re willing to bet that if you called a radio station or two, they’d be willing to spin your song.  Call the big ones in NY/LA, and then 10 random ones in small no-nothing towns. The press you get will be insane, and if the album is halfway decent you’ll make a killing.